Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
