I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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