Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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