Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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