she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
