i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
