trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
