Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
