So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
