I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
