he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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