I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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