My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
