I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
