OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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