I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
