Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the condom got lost in my hair
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
