she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
