Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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