Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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