This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
