Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
