i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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