just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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