My friends, they love my intelligence
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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