I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
