I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
