Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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