just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
