is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
