i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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