Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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