think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just pynch a tree in the face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was like eating out sand paper
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I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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