My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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