Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
