I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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