Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
