So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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