see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
