so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
