OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
