Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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