Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
