She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize