They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
