i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
