I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
