So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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