4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
