before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
