I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
