i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
