I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
this hospital has no fireball
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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