Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize