Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
