Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dicks are not precious.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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