her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
