Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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