definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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