You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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