Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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